How did the rose ever open its heart
& give to this world all of its beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light against its being.
Otherwise we all remain too frightened.
- Hafiz -
Even from more than 13 000 kilometres (8000 miles) away, this Human who I have come to acknowledge as my other half has managed to fill that space in my life which no one else has ever succeeded in doing.
Will he be offended by me referring to him as 'this Human' most of the time? Maybe.
But then he also didn't like it when I first started referring to & occasionally calling him by his last name. Hahahahah..!
I understand the weirdness of that though. Heheh. I just thought to call him by his last name because those in my inner circle always call me by my last name instead of my first. Even my closest family members call me by my full name, every time! Strange but true!
Truth be told, I didn't know his real name until I gathered up the guts to ask, a few days (weeks?) after we had started talking on a regular basis. He was just some random guy who added me on Facebook (& I strangely accepted too; a very, very rare occurrence. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever accepted any other stranger's friend request before or since then. But, more about this in another post!)
& he not knowing the concept of Chinese first & last names, called me Ee at first. I hate when that happens! Bahahahahahah! With some Westerners, even after I explain to them that my first name is Ee Lee, & not just Ee, they still insist on calling me Ee! Hahahahah!
When I was younger, I used to fancy being called Lee instead of my full first name. Somehow, that never really manifested, & I had totally forgotten about it. So it came as no surprise when he first addressed me as Ee, that I said if he wants to call me by just one syllable of my name, he can call me Lee.
It thrills me to the bone that I'm Lee only to this human who I adore so much. Heee...*insert soppy smile*
I also realized that, I've been avoiding using his first name because it makes me go all soft & mushy. Like somehow my Manomaya kosha (third sheath of the being) melts like ice cream on a hot day & subsequently flows down the tarmac. Heee... :D :P
It feels like it's too special a name to utter one too many times. Like, one can't say it too often, because it's that precious, & someone might come steal it from you.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
Romeo & Juliet, Act II, Scene II.
I know, I know! A name is just a name! But just let this woman go a bit off her rocker for once, will ya? Hahahahah!
Aaaanyways! So way off topic lah! Hahahahah!
This Human!
This Human who I have never met.
Brings out the best & the worst in me.
Like the poem says - the sunlight encouraged the rose to blossom. Though I think I'd rather be a peony, but then you get the main idea, don't you? :P
We all need that support & encouragement every once in a while. & when I am feeling down & not good enough, when I've had a rough day, this Human's sometimes annoyingly positive outlook does help. No matter how annoying it can get (misery loves company, plus I'm a recovering self-pity addict), his pep talks do create an impact on me, if not sooner, then later. & I've been needing this energy in my life - the 'up-&-at'em', 'get-up-show-up-work-your-ass-off' kind of daily grind.
Yeah, fair enough that as a yogi I should be all mellow & 'whatever happens, happens', but I have always believed that some amount of effort needs to be invested in order for us to live our purpose.
Now is the time for me to put nose to the grindstone, & I am grateful for this Human who inspires me more than he knows.
For God's sakes, I need to stop lavishing so much praise on him, lest he become big headed! But goddamnit sometimes I really get mindfucked by all these thoughts!
Someone more than 13 000km away? Is he a real person or am I just creating an image in my mind of who I think he is?
By the way, he once replied my statement, 'Sometimes I wonder if you are a real person,' with 'I am not a real person honey, sadly I'm just a singing frog from Puerto Rico living at local Hawaiian kitchens to survive'.
Geez. How can one resist that sense of humour! Hahahahahah!
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